During a Verizon President's Club trip to Paris in 2009, one evening Carrie's absence at a trip dinner was noticed. Afterwards, she indicated that she had always really wanted to see Moulin Rouge and had broken bad and "skipped the event." Aren't we glad she took the opportunity to realize a dream while she was so vital?
Angie Klein
The last night Carrie and Dale were in NJ, I gave Carrie a charm bracelet and accompanied it with a letter with a paragraph about each of those charms selected and why they symbolized so much of the past 7 years of my life with her as a close friend. I’ve rewritten that letter I gave to her, now in a different and painful tense, to share with you about just how important she was to me…
Carrie,
It’s hard for me to believe you are no longer here. It seems like just yesterday we were all relocating to NJ, and wondering what was in store for us – new state, new homes, new jobs, new friends. The last 7 years FLEW by, and I can sincerely say that when I look back on them, most of my fondest memories were times spent with you. You and Dale became so important to me, as loyal friends, travel partners, dinner dates, drinking buddies, and as real of a family as I can imagine ever wanting.
The bracelet I gave you was a way for me to express those things that I appreciated most about you. I miss you dearly, and will look forward to meeting you for our next trip together in heaven…
Phone – It all started with Verizon. Of all the great things we’ve received from Verizon (i.e. career success, financial benefits, lots of vacation days), none stands out more to me than the friends this company brought into my life. I’ve lived in a lot of places now, and you always make friends that form your social network where you live. But my friendship with you, Carrie, was beyond that. It’s as though God planned for all of us girls to find each other and be part of each other’s lives forever. His meaning of forever was simply shorter than any of us expected. The phone charm symbolized just how proud I was of you - my smart, beautiful and successful friend – for becoming one of the youngest female executives in a Fortune 15 company, yet always finding balance, prioritizing your wonderful husband, friends and family. You proved you can have it all and were an inspiration to me from the first day we became friends.
Dolphins – When I think about you, and about happiness, the first thing that comes to mind is the ocean. I’m so glad you were able to move to a place where you got to see it every day for the last months of your life. From sitting on the beach soaking up the rays to scuba diving, your love of the sea was transfixing. You always looked so amazing and graceful whenever you ventured from the beach into the water and dove in. You looked at home, as though you should be nowhere else. Also, the sea can be fierce when the winds are high, and every good seawoman needs an anchor to steady their boat in a storm. I’m so glad you had such an amazing anchor in Dale. No matter what weather came, you looked to him to provide you that confidence and peace of mind that he was holding on to you. And he did that in such a brave, loving and comforting way. Your friends will always cherish his strength and we will ensure we take care of him now, for you.
World – As I look at that map at your home of all the places you visited, it makes me smile. You made me realize how important it is to take vacation - and really unplug. And that there is so much to explore in this beautiful world. Some of the best trips of my life were with you, Carrie - Martha's Vineyard, Costa Rica, Hawaii, to name a few. There was no better travel companion than you. And although I’m saddened knowing our trips together are complete, you will always play a role as my travel agent in the sky.
New Jersey - It's the Garden State. And the fertile land here helped grow the most meaningful friendships of my life with you and Dale, and the rest of our gang. We have so many memories in New Jersey - countless dinners, backyard barbeques, cab rides back from long nights out in the city, weekend beach trips to the Jersey Shore, Short Hills shopping, tennis lessons, and more. This state, although possibly not any of our favorite, is what brought us all together, and I'll always cherish it as a result.
Handbag - Your love of shopping was contagious. At least that is what I'm blaming my shoe and handbag addiction on, as I didn't have it until I met you. J You were always the most stylish of any of my friends, managing to pull off classy and trendy all at once. You taught me that bags are investments, but you don't have to advise your significant other just how much each share is worth. And that retail therapy is real. I look forward now to travel and retail therapy – all combined together.
Clock – This is the one that was the hardest for me to write, but the one that is so applicable to all of our lives now. Carrie, you taught us all about how precious time is. And that we need to remember to stop and smell the roses, and cherish the time that God has given us. As you left for Hawaii and then ultimately from this earth, it made all of us realize just how fast time can fly. Didn’t we all just move here and meet? How could it be 7 years? Last year, on Superbowl weekend, it seems the clock sped up, unfairly. As you fought this brain tumor – I asked you to keep fighting hard. With everything you had. And I kept praying with everything I had. Every moment I spent with you was so important to me, and although I wanted to have those laughs, hugs, dinners, trips, and new stories for many years to come, God had a different plan. And it taught me to enjoy the precious moments we have. Time is a gift, just like your perfect friendship. I love you and miss you.
Andrea Gift
In 2000, Matt Schneider set Joanna McFarland and I up on a blind friend date with Michelle Desmond and Carrie. I wouldn’t have believed at the time that my life would be forever changed, but it was… so much for the better.
What’s given me comfort since Carrie’s passing is that she lived a great life, she took full advantage of the time she had and she taught us all lessons through her example which we will carry forward. We will be the ripple effect that she left behind.
Carrie was incredibly successful in her career AND she prioritized her personal life. I’ve had the joy of partying on many islands and boats with Carrie from the Big Island of Hawaii where our dear friend Michelle was married … to Governors Island right here where we sipped champagne and replaced polo divots… from a boat in St. Thomas where Carrie had to convince the Captain not to leave me behind snorkeling much too far away… to a boat off of Costa Rica during a trip that Carrie and Dale planned. Raccoon in the house, Gecko in the cookies – we had some wild times and the wildlife, and our driver, wanted to join us. Carrie taught me to take ALL of my vacation, travel, see the world, do it right and bring back stories. Her and Dale’s story of the Turkish bath brings me to tears of laughter every time that it’s told.
Carrie shared a deep love for the water whether swimming out beyond the break or diving to the depths. Some of my most memorable times scuba diving have been spent with her and Dale. She’s so graceful under the water, swimming through reefs and finding unique fish or calmly replacing and clearing her mask after a Manta Ray couldn’t resist getting too close to her and knocking it off. Carrie and Dale were an incredible team diving together, checking in with each other and venturing off when there was safe fun to be had.
Carrie invested in all her relationships whether it was spending time with family or supporting her girlfriends through our trials and our celebrations or falling for that golf instructor, going back for extra lessons and building a life together. Carrie and Dale’s marriage is one that I’ve always wanted to emulate: affectionate, fun and rock solid. And over the years, they have been a true family to so many of us.
So, Carrie will be with me every time I stamp my passport, dive to the depths of the ocean or build a family of friends. And, she will similarly live on through all of you.
Michelle Desmond
How do I say everything I need to say about Carrie? Is it even possible to do? How does one summarize more than 15 years of friendship with someone who was more a sister than a friend?
I have been thinking back to the maid of honor toast I gave at her wedding nearly 10 years ago. It was so easy, I barely had to prepare it. The words and the feelings of happiness I had for her flowed so simply. I wish I had kept that speech, it might have helped me with trying to honor her now.
Two years ago, the birthday card I sent Carrie featured two old ladies sitting on a porch drinking wine. The caption said something to the effect of, here we are at 90 years old. That's what we fully expected - to be friends for decades, to sit on that porch and drink wine, to be there for each other as we have been for so long. But that's not what happened.
This isn't about the inexplicable nature of what happened to such an exceptional person in her prime, nor my fury at losing one of the most important and influential people in my life and the lives of so many others. It's about a person and her influence on this world, the good that she did, the faith and courage she inspired.
When Carrie was in her mid to late 20's she shared me with her goals over lunch one Saturday afternoon: by 30 I want to be married, own a home and be a director. And don't you know she accomplished all three. Talk about having it all, she married the man of her dreams and had an incredible career, she traveled the world, she was loved by so many and gave that love right back.
The fun times we shared are too many to recount - so I won't even try to capture even a fraction of them. So many trips over the years- Aruba, Australia, Arizona, Hawaii, Boston, St Thomas. And so many wonderful times just hanging out or having drinks or shopping (boy, were we epic shopping partners. My last trip to NJ we spent the morning at Short Hills Mall until I had to be taken reluctantly to the airport).
All those are wonderful memories, and I will treasure them always. But there are a few things about Carrie that stand out and will likely stay with me the most.
The first one is her selflessness. I always tried to prep myself with a strategy for our phone calls to try to find out how SHE was doing before she could ask me about all the various things going on in my life. It was always about other people with Carrie, she never put herself first. Even in the last phone conversations we had, she'd start right out with - how's your mom? Can I put her in touch with my dad since they've had the same surgery? It would have been very easy for her to get wrapped up in her own ordeal, but she never did - even though she had every right to.
The second, related, would be her care taking spirit. My wedding was small, by design, and I chose not to have attendants because I would have wanted every one of the friends I'd invited to be in the wedding party - which would have been silly. But sure enough, Carrie threw me a luncheon on the day before the ceremony and included all the girls. On my wedding day there was Carrie at my hotel room door - ready to help me finish getting ready. We laughed a lot (especially when we accidentally ruined a strand of pearls I had been loaned). She was the one who walked me to where the ceremony was after everyone else had gone, and then even took video with my mother's camera. She would not just sit by, she needed to be right there with me the whole way. She was always there like that for me, with a sympathetic ear and a desire to help. And I know she did this for many others.
The last would be her 'love for love.' Carrie was a sucker for a love story - and she was always thrilled when her friends fell in love. Some of that probably stemmed from the epic love story she had with Dale. Some know that I ended up going with her on their first date (that's a story for another time) and from day one she was just head over heels. Dale and I have walked a bit in the same shoes, taking care of a spouse with terminal cancer. So, I know a little bit of what it took for him to care for her these past nearly two years at increasing levels. His care of her that I observed in the last week of her life moved me beyond words. This true love of hers took the vows of 'in sickness and in health' to new levels. They were wonderful for each other in the good times, and even more so in the bad times. We should all be so lucky to have someone love and care for us in that way.
I could go on and on, but I'll leave it here. I miss her desperately, I love her always, and I will plan to seek throughout my life to find ways to honor her. I feel blessed to have been with her in her last days, I will treasure those moments just as I will the fun times that we had. And I do believe she is waiting for us in that next place, glass of wine in hand, and she and I will have that visit on the porch after all.
Dale, Sue, Don, Todd, Jackie, Anne and all the rest of both families - my heart goes out to you and I pray that you find peace in the inspiration that lives on with Carrie's legacy.